Confessions of an Online Dater (Part 1)

I began the whole online dating thing when a friend signed me up for a particular site.  She was doing pretty well on it so I figured, why not? I recently got out of a serious relationship and needed to put myself out there.  I would try online dating...

My very first online dating experience with actually meeting someone was awkward and awful.  I call this "The Date From Hell That Would Not End"

First of all, the guy was definitely not the same person from his photographs....He creepily stared at my chest (I was not wearing anything revealing) and invited me to lunch....I didnt want to be rude so I followed him to one of my favorite places to eat.  As we sat down I noticed what he was wearing, I had to bite my tongue from laughing at his shiny, silk shirt with pleather lettering and extremely tight jeans.

There are literally four items on there lunch menu and it took him 45 minutes to decide what he wanted.  Then he proceeded to tell me how much money he makes and how loaded his parents are...Honestly, I really don't care. 

I sat there for quite some time while he just talked...I dont think I said a word except for the occasional "cool" or "oh right." I attempted to stick with the old smile and nod routine.

We recieved our meals and even though we both had small sandwiches, he sat and nibbled slowly while talking my ear off about how he hates his job, loves money, only dates girls he thinks are pretty, hated college and how he has no friends (gee, I certainly picked a winner here!)  Then he asks me what my family did.  As soon as my fathers occupation came out of my mouth he says (and I quote) "well since I know finance I can tell your father made some money...I know exactly what that profession recieves on a yearly basis"

Okay dude, back off.  In my mind I am thinking "what possesed you to even say something like that? WHY ARE YOU SOCIALLY INEPT!??!!" "What the hel am I still doing sitting here?"  I began to pray for this nightmare to be over...

We fiinished our lunch as the conversation dragged and I tried not to bang my head against the granite table top.  The waitress comes by and the guy asks for a dessert menu and coffee.  I wanted to get out of there so I did not order anything....He then proceeds to slowly sip his coffee for the next hour and a half, staring at my boobs and saying how much he likes them...(inner dialogue with my self: please let this restaurant get held up so I do not need to listen to this anymore, why did I not formulate an escape plan?). The waitress came by 6 times asking if he decided what dessert he desired.  He hadnt even looked at the menu...

Eventually he asks for a check and insits on paying for the meal. 

FINALLY! I CAN ESCAPE!....I was wrong.  He sat there staring at me and talking about himself while I sat in a stunned silence for the next 45 minutes.

He would not even put his dang credit card on the table.  Finally I was able to get to the restroom for a minute away from this guy, unfortunately there were no windows for me to climb out of so i had to turn back and endure more time with my date.

I get back to the table, and somehow talk him into leaving...he slaps his black AmEX down and says (I kid you not) "I can pay for lunch on my exclusive American Express...It's the black card that is hard to get...you like that dont you?"

No...I coulnd not care less about your precious credit card...just get away from me.

I am pretty sure I just stared at him and said I needed to get going because I had other plans.

This date started when we met up at 11:30am...I left the restaurant at 4PM! I just wasted a day of my life...

When he walked me to my car, I jumped into the driver seat before he could try to even give me a hug.

I really wish Icould have the four and a half hours of my life back...Thank goodness for the bottle of wine I had waiting for me at home!

Online Dating 101:

Rule #1:  Always have an escape plan

Lesson Learned

Introduction

I am touched that I was asked to write a foreword to this blog to introduce Shelby to the world. I'm sure there are no combination of words that give justice to Shelby's guide to life and her crazy stories that I'm sure all of you will enjoy over the upcoming posts. She will make headlines and so I'll leave fans with a video by a fellow Jew making headlines himself:

Don't forget us little people when you become famous!

The J.A.P. Girls Guide to Life

So here we are...starting my baby blog about my life.  Friends continuously tell me I should either write a book or have a show, so this is where I am going to start.

I tend to get myself in some interesting (funny and crazy) situations and now I am going to blog about them.  I will give the rundown of my dates (good and bad) and interject with my inner dialogue.  I like to try new things so as a Jew who can do it! I will post about my adventures.

A bit about me:

I am a twenty-something year old Jewish girl, trying to find love, friendship and fun while trying to be successful in a career of PR and event planning.  This, all while living life and learning from it.....

I love to wear heels
I live with my two best guy friends
I love to cook
My friends are amazing...and can sometimes be crazy (but aren't we all?)
I am trying the whole online dating thing...should make for a few good stories. I already have some hilarious dating situations and will post about those later.
I am very close to my family
I have no idea how to really blog...so work with me here!


So sit back and enjoy the ride here goes... "Jew Can Do It!  The J.A.P. Girls Guide to Life"